Beautiful Liar

so i havent been ard lately, mostly due to me having a blast, catching up with frens, have been really busy at work and my presentation preparation. its one week since my grad. since the day i knew how he can really be. its funny how u dun see these things when ur with someone, as the saying goes 'love is blind'. or mayb u saw it, but u pretended or hoped that things will be different, or u make up excuses for his unexcusable behaviour, giving chances.. until the day u get a reality check and hey, all along u find urself crying and fretting over something not worth it at all..

my babes chris and daph have been my rock and my full source of entertainment, including willie and tridansh. they have been lifting up my spirits in more then one way, have been having a really good time just hanging with them. my week was packed with activities, and next week everyday has been planned for something already. gonna catch pirates next tues nite, then work on wed, kayaking and wakeboarding on thurs, work on fri and sat and well sun will prolly be planned as well.

i've been coping really really well with everything, i totally underestimated myself. totally underestimated my ability to go out and have a good time as a single lady. love my life extremely and everyone is starting to notice a new me! i'm so glad, bcos it means its showing, my happiness from inside out. everyone's been asking me who's the new guy, so funny i mean do i need a guy in order to look so radiant and happy? nope i dun think so. i love my life, now i understand why so many girls prefer to stay single. am talking to 6 guys at the mo. not to boast abt it, but i'm like losing track of who i'm contacting. haha.

last fri was so fun, i went to mustafa w my guy fren and we just acted like monkeys at mustafa throwing plastic fruits at each other and making fun of the voice over the system esp when she said 'time is up' in her indian accent, it was so funny we both could not stop laughing and imitating her. then we found a corner with really comfy bean bags and we just chilled there blocking everyone's pathway. was just crazy fun. just like kumar's nite last mon. crazy innocent fun. and then we ate prata with tridansh and went to mos to find daph. we drove all the way there to say hi to her then we went back. HAHA. but it was fun... then sat i went out w chris, had a nice lunch at marina sq then went to a bazaar at clarke quay where i spent abt 60 bucks on accessories! so nice all hand-made, esp my black stone cross attached to a guardian angel.. and my earrings and chris and i bought a bracelet for ourselves and daph to signify our 3 girls friendship! then chris and i went to eat at PS. havent been there since we broke up, tot i'd feel sad, but surprising not. ps still looks and feels the same whether i'm there with him or not. then when chris left to meet her frens, i took a slow walk to orchard to say hi to a guy fren who works at cus. had a nice time absorbing in everything walking by myself.

love the feeling i'm getting now, the feeling of "i did it". i managed to pull thru and not only did i pull thru but my life has turned 360 degrees into the most truest happiest mood i can ever have. i'm happy to be single and independant and it is so not me, cos i used to be so dependant on guys to make me feel happy. but i'm happy now and i dun have a guy, so i've seen a new part of me! i never knew finding ur identity can be so fun.. seriously underestimated myself. knew i was stronger and better then what most ppl thought... just havent seen it in me yet. and the best part is, if i can survive this, i can survive anything. cos i am no longer dependant on external factors including guys to make me feel good abt myself.

sad though i cant upload my grad pics cos my cam something wrong. had so many nice photos in it, including willie doing a lap dance with kumar and all my bestest frens. damn sad la. but nvm, as soon as i have them i will upload them asap! oh ya my boss is so nice, she had a talk with me telling me i dun have to feel inferior jus cos i'm a diploma holder (compared to the doctor and the master's student in my team) and told me that i'm just as important and that she trusts me thats why she's giving me so much tasks... and told me to work hard. this couldnt have come at a better timing. just when i'm over him, she tells me to work hard. no problem! i wanna work hard and show her and prove to everyone that a diploma holder can work just as hard and just as much as anyone else in the lab. i cant wait to prove myself! its gonna be tiring and tough but its ok, cos now my full focus is at work. and i know i have the right mentality and inner strength to conquer this. i will make it and do well.

oh and update on aussie thing. so i asked my mum if i could go over first with my frens and while they go study i go work and gain experience. and i told her i'll apply for citizenship while i'm working so it might be easier for my fam to go over once i'm granted cictizenship. she said ok! so i dunnoe, if chris and daph is gg to UWA to study, i'll meet them in sem 2 cos they wanna stay at dorm for one sem. aussie i cant wait!!!!!!! if everything is successful, i may leave before june next yr...and celebrate my 21st bday there!

ok i really got to go now, thats my super long updated entry in compensation for my MIA. been busy peeps having the bestest most happiest time of my life! MUACKS to me. (: gonna meet him now too! chiaos