Its All In My Eyes

I havent got a chance to say what i really want cos time doesnt permit me so. I havent had a chance to really tell you everything in my heart, cos the situation rite now doesnt permit me so. I wish to say what i can rite now, cos words are the best way i express myself. i cant decide how you will think, or influence ur decision, but i know that if i want to try hard enough, i have some faith that eventually things will fall into place. maybe i am stupid and foolish for wanting to try this hard, but there is something about you tat makes me feel so right, something about you that doesnt wanna make me give up. for the past few weeks, arguing has been a routine. its maybe the just pass one year phase where everything is really hard rite now, but for some reason, no matter how much we fight it only brings me closer to u, cos i know at the end of the day, how much fighting and how many hurtful things we say to each other i still wanna come home and tell you i love you. love is a difficult thing but it should be something u want to do out of ur heart. i agree with u that there are so many issues rite now, and that we have to start acting appropriately becos we are getting serious. but its precisely the reason why things are getting harder and harder, its bcos we're getting more and more serious with each other. i know the future scares u, it scares me too, but its something we cant control, but we can go thru it together. the future is not ours to see, even if i want to tell u i wan to be with u always, anything can happen. i may not even be alive the next day. what im saying is that life is unpredicatble, full of curvy turns where u dunnoe whats ahead until u reach that bend in the road, and then everything becomes clear again. its like taking the first step but knowing if u keep on walking, u will eventually reach ur destination. along the way, it is suppose to be difficult cos all the best things in life is only appreciated once u go thru some kind of pain or suffering. the easy road in life is an easy one, but the hard road in life is a hard one. but if we are always so focused on the mishaps that can happen in life, when can we ever appreciate whats in the present rite now? i know its hard for u, for i have hurt u so much, and am still hurting u as u fight on to stay with me, but if i tell u now im am not giving up, not on u, or us, or me, what does that say? i wont bother fighting a battle i know i am going to lose, but if there's a single glimmer of hope that my fighting will somehow win u, i wont ever stop trying. maybe its my character, i fight to the very last end, but when i want something i dont ever stop trying esp when i know i have a fighting chance. i cant predict what will happen in the future, but what i believe that the better today makes a better tomorrow. and if tomorrow hasnt come, why worry about it? since i know that my means of saying all this out is definitely going to be out there, i am not afraid to tell everyone that i love you, and if i wanted to care what the world tot, ill be a dead person. but i care, i do care what ppl think abt me and you and thats why it affects me so much when i get negative feedback, cos when i dun get support, i feel alone. but if i can get support from u, i know i have u to take my hand when i need guidance. things in life are never simple, never straightforward and life has absolutely no gurantees. the only guarantee in life is that every human that is born will die one day. i dunnoe what will happen tomorrow, 5 years or 10 years from now, but knowing i have one shot one chance no matter how small of being so happy, cos of u, i will fight for that. u may not believe me, but i know myself better then anyone else. and when i know i want something, i want it. and i want you. u can chase me away, ask me to go, ask me to leave u alone, but im here. ill always be here, for u. and u cant make me disappear unless i feel so much so that i should really go. but for u and everyone else to see, im not giving up. I love you. and thats all i want u to know. nothing else.