Thank You - Alanis Morisette

Oh no, i'm updating my blog everyday. Thats not too good right cos' it might be too much? I just feel more inclined with myself and my feelings more then ever. And to me its a good sign, cos' it means i'm depending on myself now and i am not afraid to be in touch with my feelings.

Anyhoos, I was rummaging through my thumb drive just now cos i wanted to find a picture of me with the highlights i did the last time. I'm convinced my streaks isnt as blonde as it was the first time, so ima wanna go back to my hair-styler with a pic to prove it. But i came across a particular folder named after a particular someone and decided to have a peek into it. It was filled with word docs. When i wrote all those docs in there at that time, i knew exactly what i felt back then. But as i read on, i actually felt sad that i was that sad. Looking at my life now, the vast difference is immaculate. I cant even find the words to describe how i feel, simply bcos i know what i went through by myself and i am actually really glad i went through it. I wouldnt have been this happy with my life if not for what happened. Its been 8 good months. Back then, i'll probably wont even consider for a milisec that something good can come out of it. And i'm right, something good did not come out of it. Something great came out of it.

During lunch as i told my colleague how i was feeling about my work stress, she was really understanding and even told me to take this job as practice, once i leave i'll know how important it was to learn my techniques. She also said that, now i know how to identify a good boss with a good system and i know how a simple and minor fluctuation can interfere with the whole project. I smiled because those are the 3 main positive-DUH things. Silly me, for not noticing them first. I also told her about my future plans, and she's now the 4th person in my life that i can tell all about my future plans and not have the person look at me like i'm crazy. The 1st is mum. The 2nd is my sister astrid and the 3rd is him. (: She said she actually admires me that i can have such plans, and she was saying how nice if we can work tog in aussie. This colleague of mine did not speak a word of English when we first met, but now she speaks English fluently and I'm trying to convince her to study English seriously. We have advised each other so much during this near 1 year as colleagues and close friends.

I suppose the fourth most obvious thing is having met a friend, an older sister like her. Though she's 15 years older then me and a hard-ass Professor in China, she never once treated me like a junior. She talks to me on the same level, and she encourages me about my future plans all the time. And she's funny and super kind and considerate. I will definitely be sad to leave her behind... But i cant wait to explode my excitement in aussie... I cant wait.