Surprises, Expectations, Guides

Whether we realize it or not, each one of us has guiding principles that guides our life in the choices we make. Most of us do not even realize what they are; they are just ingrained in our beliefs. If you were to make a list of what your guiding life principles are, what would they be?

I have always believed for one thing, that no matter what, everything happens for a reason and almost 99% of the time, it only happens for the best. I have always been a firm believer in that, as life can be so demoralizing at times, and you feel compelled by all the negative emotions you just need someone or something to make you feel at ease. And when you think back of all the really down and tough times you went through, somehow there was always something good that came out of it. It has never failed me.

Something I have recently started to believe in also is completely trusting yourself and believing in yourself. It may seem like any tom, dick or harry can do, but truth be told, it is actually very very hard to find that inner person in you and totally be dependent on it without the slightest doubt.

And i say its difficult because of the way we were brought up, we were taught to always be this or that, society has shaped us to be so narrow-minded and social stigma can be so cruel sometimes. Thus it has become increasingly difficult to accept others that society deem as wrong, and thus it affects us accepting ourselves as well. We are spoiled and too pampered. Our levels of protection are so high that its quite ridiculous. We aren't thrown out of our houses at 18 and forced to support ourselves. Thus in that case, we all do not learn about ourselves, we do not acquire personal skills and we end up losing in the end. Why do you think we have one of the highest suicidal, divorce and bankruptcy rate? We do not know how to handle problems and because we were so used to our parents doing it for us, we fail miserably at work, with money and with marriage. (though Singapore stress also plays a huge part) But still, our lives depend on us, no matter what political issues there are. People who suffer a lot when they are young tend to be more matured and more wise about life, as compared to someone who was spoon-fed all the way. Dependency on one's self is a far far cry from today's world. Our source of dependency is showing off, is wearing expensive clothes or driving big fancy cars. We depend not on ourselves, but on our lifestyle we are so determined to make look impressive. Because we care too much about what others think. Because we have failed to accept ourselves for who we really are.

And always remember that no matter who we meet in life, people are always there for a reason. Some may only come for a season, and may disappear even before you know it. But just know that at the end of the day, if you can depend on yourself and trust yourself, you'll always find a way to work things out and to go through life no matter how hard it gets.

I have always been a planner, a perfectionist. Someone who aims high and gets what i want. Everything i want, i will get, by hook or by crook, i am known for my strong power of will and determination. I am also very stubborn therefore i can do it my way or no way. And i am very ambitious. I think thats what makes me, me. I always want things to be systematic and planned.

But strangely, or funnily, life has its own little quirks and ways to make things go totally how you least expect it to. Life likes to tease you, and test your ability to adapt. Thats what makes life challenging isnt it? But as much as i am obsessed with stability, organization and perfection, i am also starting to widen up my mind and starting to allow unexpected things to take place in my life. And my result? I've never been happier. Its normal to want to do things a certain way, especially with social stigma and rules that people make for you since you were young, you enjoy things to be of a certain way. Because it creates that comfort zone. That knowing feeling, that feeling that doesnt require much risk. Cos its all been planned for. But take a risk, be spontaneous and enjoy what life has in store for you. Be surprised and be entertained by the quirks and the kinks in life. For nothing in this world is perfect. And the more you hold on to your comfort zone, the narrower your door of opportunities becomes.

I took a giant step when i went into a relationship i thought i would never go into in the first place. I had my reasons, and i knew i had it all planned. I did not intend to sacrifice a great friendship in exchange for something more intimate. I had calculated my actions, and i had made up my mind. And i said never. I suppose this is where I'll inject the line "never say never" because before you know it, you're in something you probably vowed not to be in. Of cos this depends on different individuals. Some people can really be so tight and so fixated on their decisions, and if they are happy, then so be it. But i took that chance and he did too. And now we have something so passionate and real i sometimes find it hard to believe. I dont expect much, for life as i said has its way of letting the unexpected happen. But I believed in myself, and I trusted my motives and actions, and that surprise, that risk, that unexpecting action was one of the best decisions in my life, maybe better then some planned ones.

And so, now i believe in never saying never, and never wishing too much or too hard for something. If something or someone is meant to be yours, it will be yours. Trust life, enjoy the ride. And never stop believing in yourself.