Simple adoration

life sometimes brings you to the twists and turns, the stop and go's, the fantasy and reality. life is full of its own little surprises, and there are those times, where everything suddenly feels empty. as happy as u are, as strong as u are, as determined to not care about what others say, sometimes, everything gets too much to shoulder, and u wanna feel free of the burden, even if it was just for a little while. u dont wanna think about anything, and you just need someone who can understand how u feel, take in what ur feeling, and just simply be there for u.

in the past, i depended on a lot of temporary things, things that were only there for superficial or other reasons, but i never actually had this someone who understood my emotions, who actually bothered and actually cared. at those times i never felt more alone, and i wished i had a friend. a person i knew no matter what, will not judge me for my actions, someone who would not look at me pathetically or quizzically and think i'm a mad person when i have the typical claire moments. someone who thought like me, yet was different enough to challenge me, or make me think twice about my options. i had yearned for one person in my life, someone who'd take the baggage from me every once in a while someone who would be there unconditionally.

i saw him as a friend, someone who i could count on. at first it seemed one way. at first i din trust that feeling. at first i denied my true feelings. cos at first, i din not believe this such person exist. i felt he saw right through me, and those times i had looked at him, and told myself, he will never like me. he will never accept me.

but its strange how life can have its little twist and turns. how life throws u curve balls, and how life is actually like a garden of budding flowers. and life is simply just life. my acquittance became my close friend, my close friend became my best friend, and now he's someone who's so special to me, not because of who he is to me as a boyfriend. but he's that person, that person who i'm been looking for. his support, his assurance when i'm feeling apprehensive, his hug and his understanding. he's more then a friend, more then a boyfriend. he's my completed jigsaw puzzle. and i am grateful everyday i see him. everyday i hear his calming voice. every time he looks at me. its a calm knowing feeling. i know i can lean on him, and i dont even feel the slightest doubt.

he's him. and i'm me. having him in my life makes all the small things seem nothing, and all the big things seem like small things. he's my indifference. he's all i need.