In my Zone

its been a hectic hectic week full of emotions turned inside out upside down.. good days and really down in the gutter days. but of cos i wanna focus on the good days. like today. i went to school to try on my graduation uniform and it was nice meeting my dear frens again. felt like ol times, walking to the canteen, and eating from mensa. with rich, paul, chris and daphne. we had fun just talking and having rich irritate me as usual. he din say much abt the break up except, aiya it happens. it always does. so ok good enough for me. coming from a guy that has a whole string of vulgarities in every sentence and since my tone has also changed to that, he was like cool ur like me now. haha. ya wow.i think i need to recheck my language, but kinda got used to it already. the girls came over after that and we had a nice time just chilling and stating the guy facts. i tell you, dun put more then 2 girls in the same room together. worse still, dun put more then 2 heartbroken girls in the same room. sam came over after that to pick chris up. he came up and we all had fun recalling daphne's 21st bday party. hahaha. i just love it. i showed them all e stuff i bought from bkk and they were like wow so nice i wanna go bkk... haha. yes bkk was a blast. a total beyond belief blast. i loved it so much. mun and i had so much truth and tell times. and yes indeed the truth hurts like ALOT. but i'm happy. cos now i feel peace at heart.

my grad's gonna be awesome. although grad marks everything. it brings me the closure i need. since i met him in school anyway. my grad will close things off. and my life will be easier to focus on, once grad is over. so chris and daph came up w a really really great idea. if they both are gonna study at UWA, and since i cant study yet cos my mum wants to avoid paying the tuition fees, they suggested we all 3 leave together and rent an apt together. and while they both go study, i go work! and who know's i might get sponsorship. awesome stuff if we 3 can stay together...

after sam gave me a lift in his car to heartland mall, daph and i walked abit and we sat down to chit chat. real nice having 2 great girls by my side, though i wish chris all e best w sam. cos daph and i have had enough. i realised alot in 3 weeks. and in 2 days i focused and changed my mindset. its amazing what mind over matter does. i mean i've always been an emotional person, always following the heart thingy. but i always get hurt in the end. so now i'm trying a diff approach. and i dun give a damn anymore. its protecting myself wout causing any damage. my fav qoute at e moment. courtesy of mun. mun's been a great fren. more then what i can expect. and bkk changed me a little, in a way it made me more open to my surroundings. the shopping and clubbing was the bombs. and chilling at sukhumvit soi 11 was the best of the best.

my life is revolving ard goodness now. cos its all i'm left with. am no longer gonna try. not that i'm giving up but when somethings are meant to be, i should just let it be. i wont say that i'm not gonna be sad and hurt. i mean 3 weeks have caused enough internal damage to me. but i am DEFINITELY gonna pull thru this and when i do, i know i'm gonna be the strongest person ever. not for him. but for me. reading "men are from mars and women are from venus" by john gray now. its so nice to know its normal for the probs we both had. but then again, every relationship needs to have its own foundation. and i guess my foundation was nvr there... cant wait to read my "power of a praying woman" by stormie omartian. its awesome stuff i'd recommend every woman to read. i've also decided to let go cos i realised that everytime i do something it ALWAYS gets back at me and nvr fails to bite me in the ass. so i've decided to chill and let go. maybe God wants me to realise things arent gonna work.. and daph's been great.. cant wait to see her this fri. i just love myself and my life now. cos seriously, who can love me better then me?

and thanks chris for the lovely pouch from HK. loving it being so convenient. can fit "EVERYTHING" i need.. till monday peeps. grad ceremony. wait for my bkk pics!