Its been a while..

Hi guys,

Its been a while, like long long long while since i updated my blog. Dont even know if i still have an audience. haha. but i miss blogging. i miss venting my heart out here, and just letting my emotions out thru my writing, my philosophies, my poems, my melodrama stories of life and how hard life is, and how beautiful love is..

its been a hectic time for me, going through what i did overseas, finishing my degree.. cant wait to graduate, on 17th of march. It took me 2 years of hard work and effort to learn the harsh facts of life, but at the same time, ironically it was during my hardest and worst times that i learnt the best things. things took a real change for me, when i was about to finish my last semester. i was sick of the pathetic love life i had then, and sick of myself always being so dependent on others. i made up my mind right there and then, one night when i was alone in the darkness of my room, crying my eyeballs out for the last pity-myself time that i had.

life was hard, life was cruel, and people betray you, but what can you do but change? everything in life is so predictable, and yet it is not. we expect this much, but dont want to give out anything. everyone changes but nothing really changes at all. time passes but its always in this constant continuum, who notices anything anyway? unless something dramatic happens like death. thats the only constant thing besides change. death and change. those are the only two things in this world that's constant.

well nuff said about what i went thru. i am finally almost on the way to achieving a goal i held on to since i was 15. to get out of spore and start a life in australia. i studied there, and now im going back there to work, and apply for my PR. in the meanwhile, im saving up for my Masters in Speech Pathology. There is where I will learn my 2 most fav things in the world, Psychology and Communication and at the same time accomplish my life goal which is to help others in a positive way. I am glad that my goals or my life has led me here, to accomplish your goals is one thing, but to actually be able to love what you're doing and not just achieve a goal, now thats something. Cos sometimes, we can plan for goals, work so hard for it, and finally when we get it, we realize we dont want it anymore, and we start this futile search again.

But before we can even be happy in our goals or what we choose, we must first accept ourselves for who we are. To find that inner peace and happiness, to learn to love ourselves for exactly who we are. And when we can so amazingly align our love, our goals with God's plans and love for us, life really becomes so much more meaningful and you start having this whole dynamic shift into the more deeper things in life, and not the shallow, superficial things.

I nearly gave up on myself, but i managed to get out of it at the very end. I received hope. and faith, and in Him, i found what was missing in my life for so long.

And finally, i found someone who was unexpected. someone who i never thought i'd choose or be with. but for him to not just love me, sometimes all we are really searching for is compatibility and companionship. And i so amazingly found that. Love is innocent; the world is not.

Things are going well, as I pack my bags to leave for Perth this Sat.

To all that has happened for/to me, it was only thru God's grace and love for me that I am still standing in awesome awe of Him.

I look forward to more blessings in my life.

XOXO