Brightly Wounded - Eisley

"It's happening all the time
When I open my eyes
I'm still taken by surprise
I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies
And it makes me want to cry"

I once thought of something, it came out as a word, the word came out as an action, the action developed into a habit, the habit became part of my character, my character determined my destiny. I once knew that I had to do what I had to do in order to do what I want to do.

Its all in my mind, my perception, how i influence the way i think that dictates my actions. Life is only larger then u if u let it be larger then u. But as humans, we were given one thing that we all always take for granted.

Choice. And whats better then having choices?

Freedom of choice.

I think nothing explains more then the choices we make, a very old chinese proverb goes " Man only have problems cos they deemed it to be". Meaning, we all our masters of our own destiny, fate brings us on the right path, but its exactly at that point that determines what you will do next. I hated to think that people can be so self-centered, so ignorant, so impulsively irrational and so impeccably presumptious and self-loathing. Funny, cos i made myself believe it so much that people were like that, that it rubbed off me, and I became what I hated. Self-destruction is the worst form of destruction and believing that you are not what you are rightfully capable of and self worthy off makes you this person that you dont want to be and yet you are. I no longer want to be self -destructive because not only does it make me lose my appreciation for people and things, it makes me so hard to love and if I am hard to love, I cant believe that i can love myself. It makes me wonder why do people do all these hurtful things to themselves, and i know i need a different train of thought. To believe in belief and make it work through faith, hope and love. Man's greatest weakness is doubt. Having doubt makes you question what cant be done when it could have been done if not for your doubt.

I have this one shot, this one fantastic shot to make sure my ball hits that net, from half the court, i have this one shot to make things not just good but AWESOME. I know the people who love me, really take tat effort to love me no matter what, those people who bothered to know me, to tell me what i am and how i have made an impact in their lives. I am grateful to these people. Thank you. I know now what I want, and I just have to believe in it and make sure I dont unintentionally sabatoage it due to my past experiences and opinions which are blocking the goodness from me. I just wanna know I am me and I am happy to be me. I accept me and once I can do that I can accept others.

Its not always about me, but it sure starts with me.