Inexplainable

somethings cant be explained no matter how hard you try. if only life was like a science subject i am studying for, in science there's an explanation for everything whether its true or not, at least there's something to explain. i dont need to explain things that i feel dont need explaining, i guess explaining is just not one of the things i do best since, somehow or rather i always get misinterpreted or miscommunicated or misunderstood. maybe im just not trying hard enough. i do things in a certain way, and maybe the things i do always seem to contradict itself, but i suppose nothing in this world is perfect. no one is perfect. and i guess we all just want to find out whats the beginning and end of life. if only finding out wasnt so difficult. i have to make sure that no matter what happens, i still remain a human being with my emotions, cos anyone without emotions isnt human at all, and its our emotions that makes us humans. if not, i guess robots are way better then us. i love to wonder about the exceptions in life, or the supplementations to the contradictions in life, everything is a contradiction if you believe so, for really what is good must be compensated with evil, black with white and so on. nothing is pure is this world, and the faster the world realises it, the better we can become. as if we dont strive enough to be perfect, maybe imperfection is what we need to make us feel normal. i need to reflect on why the things in my life is like a light switch, and maybe find out why the clarity and degree of vague-ness in my life is the way they are. maybe i need a sense of direction. or maybe i just need to be silent for a while. whatever the case, i just need a sign. if only i could look up the book of signs, and find out why i cant explain the damnest things in this world.