Fly Away - Corrine May

i've been having a lot of lack of sleep recently. since i have no reason to get up early the next morning for work, i've been having sleepless nights as the fateful day approaches. i have so many thoughts about really leaving, i cant seem to just close my eyes and sleep peacefully. i have so many things i've yet to do which i havent done cos i had a rush of unexpected outings with friends and family. i shouldnt have quit just 2 weeks before i leave.

i just woke up from a 4 hour sleep, and i am down with the rotten flu. i've got a sore throat and a runny nose... and i just cant seem to sleep even though he's right there beside me, i feel like crying but i cant. i dont know i think i am finally feeling really emotional about leaving. somedays i am as confident as anything, telling him all about my bright future plans, but other days i just feel like crumbling under the pressure. i try to act all nonchalant so that i can pretend i am not that sad, but truth is, i am sad like hell. i know i shouldnt be that sad, cos this is my opportunity, i am really leaving to aussie after all the years i yearned for it.

i just want reassurance and comfort.
i want to feel secure.
but starting something new, always takes that away from you.
i know i gotta be brave, but its hard.
and i'm stressed i wont be able to support myself once i'm there. mum has done so much for me already, i dont wish to add more to her problems.
i just hope i am worrying for nothing.
i hope everything in my future will be good.