Love is something not to be questioned.

i cant define what love is despite being with someone who i thought i loved for 2 years and 2 months. i cant define what true happiness is cos i never had it. and i cant define what security is. i cant change the mindset of others, nor can i change the thoughts of others. when it comes to matters of the heart, noone is in control. one day you might feel this, the next day you no longer feel it. sometimes even sleeping gets difficult cos i just end of dreaming of things that only make me feel worse then the night before. i cant control my dreams and thats the worse part. but many have said that dreams are opposite of reality and that its what's your subconscious mind is manifesting on during your conscious time. (it is so true). sometimes some ppl can only do so much. but if all else fails, maybe He has a better plan for me. maybe i can define what true sadness is. but if you never really experienced true happiness, how can anyone understand what true sadness is. it takes two to clap. and sadly the same analogy applies to love. another analogy is, 'why carry along your broken arm when you can just let it go and you still got the rest of your properly functioning body'. sometimes its just difficult to let go. cos that broken arm is still part of your body. and letting it go means you are settling for being handicapped. i fathom about the good times. but why make myself suffer. i know those were just superficial stuff. its was never really what it was suppose to be. and when the real problems surface, when the rose-tinted glasses are down, are you prepared to see the clarity of it all? if you're not prepared, dun ever attempt to have any rose-tinted glasses nearby. cos life is never a bed of roses. and true happiness can only be experienced if you learn to let go. if I learn to appreciate the other things around me. my family. my work. my studies. my frens. His Word also says that if one hand is bleeding, its better to cut it off then remain with it. and why would you want to arm-wrestle with a broken arm? it makes no sense. i cant change what other ppl feel about me. i cant change it if they just lost it. but what i can have control of, is my feelings. and my mindset. if i can change my mindset. i can change the world. all it takes is guts, determination and a lot of self-love and self-respect. my mum has been my rock. so has my sister. and thats all i should be grateful for. it hurts. but once i'm over it. at least i know nothing can get me. in my road to self-recovery, its about appreciating whats around me. loving whats around me. and letting go what doesnt need to be around me.